What's Bothering Me Now: Borders Bookstore

SO, a few months ago, I trekked all the way to the Borders Bookstore on Alps Bridge Road, which with traffic is an ungodly 30 minute drive from my apartment in Athens. I was looking for some books for school and then I started looking around for books to read in the summer as I began to imagine the three weeks before camp when I could read whatever I wanted to. In an optimistic stupor, I bought Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre. This was of the Borders Classics collection so I thought, "Can't go wrong." OHHHH I was mistaken.

I started reading a little earlier this week and was bookin' through (pun intended). However, a few minutes ago, I encountered the worst situation I could think of! Dare I repeat it? I must. I made it all the way to page 408 and was forced to abruptly stop. Not by a telephone call, or a prior engagement, or a knock at the door, or the rants and requests of my mother, but because of the stupid book itself. The book thought I wanted to skip ahead to page 433. I mean who really cares about if Jane goes with St. John to India??? I was not really that interested. And the fact that page 433 starts with "Dead!" has nothing to do with my frustration, except that's the only thing that keeps me from freaking finishing the novel.

Now to kick me in the face after punching me in the stomach, the book goes from page 433 to 456 and then back to page 433 to repeat the whole last 25 pages of the book. So thankfully, I have the last 25 pages of the book twice which is really helpful because I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED FROM PAGE 408 TO PAGE 432.

EVEN BETTER, I leave on Saturday for my summer job at Camp Glisson. Unfortunately, you don't get a lot of reading time there so while I'm supposed to be packing tomorrow, I'll be sitting in the traffic of Barrett Parkway trying to get to the Borders by town center mall to exchange my copy of the book for a copy with pages 409-432. I also plan on finishing the book tomorrow so I might be going to camp with only the basics.

I've also been trying to figure out why Borders has allowed this tragic occurrence. I've worked out a few theories:
1) They want me to go insane wondering what happened and just buy a whole other book to finish my reading and have closure, so I won't wonder what could have been.

2) Barack Obama. This is my favorite theory. I haven't really developed it, but since all the teachers are getting fired on his watch and books and school go together, I figure there's a way to blame him.

3) The Oil Spill: I think that Borders ripped out pages of my book to send to the ocean to clog the leak. I realize I bought the book before the spill occurred and since this is a theory saying they're trying to fix it and ripped the pages out before the spill even happened, they probably started the spill so with this theory, we get to blame them for the oil spill and ruining the economy of the Gulf Coast...You're Welcome America. I figured it out.

4) The Trees have revolted. This final theory is that the trees that have been turned into paper have not lost their spirits. So the tree spirit has made the paper leak the spirit into the printing machine. This causes the printer to skip the 25 pages near the end of the book as a final act of revenge before completely dying out. This is their way of sticking it to the man...a strike of sorts.

Regardless of how this catastrophe has originated, I am upset, angry, frustrated, and EXTREMELY bothered.