What's Bothering Me Now: Zoo Atlanta

Zoo Atlanta has an upcoming event called Brew at the Zoo. For info, check this out:

http://www.zooatlanta.org/home/article_content/brew

Here’s my synopsis:
Basically, on May 29th (Saturday) at Zoo Atlanta, there is an event which includes a wine tasting and a variety of beers for taste at a beer festival.

Why this is bothering me has nothing to do with alcohol, and this blog post is not a commentary on drinking. It is, however, a commentary on drinking at the zoo. I know the zoo could be slightly boring for those over the age 10 regardless of my continuous entertainment through the years. BUT, the really good news for all of you is that you don’t have to go anymore. You can stay home, or, if homebody is not for you, there are really awesome sporting events where drinking is accepted and even expected. Turner Field (also in Atlanta) is a fantastic idea with $1 seats and the same heat at the zoo minus the smell of animal. My philosophy is that if you have to drink to enjoy something, don’t go, do something else.

My next point is:
Is it really a good idea to have a bunch of drunks wondering around the habitats of various animals in the wild? I mean after a sample of each different alcohol at Brew at the Zoo, it would seem that maybe that many drunks near the gorilla habitat might be hazardous. Where’s that great judgment when it comes to judging whether or not hopping in with Kudzoo and Olympia (those were the gorillas born when I was a kid)?

Next:
Parents. Mom and Dad bring the kids for a fun day at the zoo and end up tipsy because they really don’t want to be at the zoo. Mom pushes the stroller right into the door frame of the reptile house so the baby is delighting everyone with her cries. Dad stumbles into another drunk man’s woman so drunk man #2 thinks Dad’s hitting on her and a brawl breaks out right in front of the anaconda’s cage. Zoo rent-a-cops come, arrest Dad and other drunk guy, drunk mom is still consoling crying child, and anaconda is probably still chillin’.

Finally:
Clean-up. It’s summer. It’s Atlanta, GA. It’s freaking hot. I’ve been told the heat is not desirable when intoxicated. Plus, there are thousands of animals all over the place. These animals stink. So we’ve got stench, heat, and alcohol. Fun times. Good luck to whatever custodians get the responsibility of cleaning the zoo after the alcohol consumed ends up all over the sidewalks and in the habitats. AND, it’s not exactly fair to make the kids there walk around nearly stepping in vomit. They’re young and innocent for now, let them stay that way Zoo Atlanta.

I get that times are tough financially speaking. But maybe instead of keeping up the annual tradition of Brew at the Zoo, train a monkey to do some awesome things that people would want to see. Start a rumor about the pandas potentially having a baby or being moved. There are endless options. I think if you want to drink out in the heat that you should buy a $1 ticket to a Braves game. Buy a beer and a Hebrew International hot dog and a Jason Heyward t-shirt. Don’t risk becoming tiger bon bons or arrest or watching a child walk through your vomit.

Shame on you Zoo Atlanta.